


i wanted to be the son

by bloopedyblap



Category: Blade Runner (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Character Study
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-14
Updated: 2017-10-14
Packaged: 2019-01-17 04:51:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 470
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12357849
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bloopedyblap/pseuds/bloopedyblap
Summary: He imagines holding a smooth, wooden horse. He imagines that the horse is his.





	i wanted to be the son

The world is silent except for the shifting of his thick cotton jacket and the crunching of the snow. He reaches for the sky, raising his rough and dirtied hand to meet the falling snowflakes. Slowly, millimeter by millimeter, they descend toward the earth until one kisses the back of his hand. It sits for a prolonged second. Bringing his hand up to his eye, he watches it melt.

Deckard had just entered the building, taking the same 36 steps K had walked earlier that week. Soon, he will open the door to the visiting room, and he will see his daughter. 

K wonders, will it be a tearful reunion, full of longing looks and wailing cries? Or will it be quiet and soft, an instant connection that transcends the genetical relationship? Will Deckard whisper Dr. Stelline's, or rather, Ana's name, and will she respond with "Dad?"

A tickling at his knee reminds K of the blood dripping from his abdomen wound. He sluggishly turns around and walks towards the steps. He's just a bit off balance; his system is beginning to slow. He lies down and looks at the grey sky. The snowflakes are still falling.

He closes his eyes, and he imagines. 

He imagines a birthday party and turning six years old. There are six candles on his cake, all a different color because this birthday is supposed to be special. The flames on the wicks flick left and right, lighting up his and his dad's face. K tries not to do it, but he can't deny himself the thought; his dad has the face of Deckard, and sitting beside him is Rachael. They're both young and beautiful, in love and alive. K is not K, but Joe. Joe smiles wide, baby fat tightening up before he blows hard and the lights go out.

He imagines being on the roof with Joi. He imagines touching her: her soft skin wet from the rain, his thumb sliding across her cheekbone, her hair tickling him in-between his fingers as he holds her head and looks into her eyes. He feels her small soft lips drag across his own and her tongue teasing the inside of his mouth. Her fingers grasp his neck, and the two of them are real. They're real, they're real underneath the pouring sky. 

He imagines holding a smooth, wooden horse. He imagines that the horse is his. 

It's too much; he opens his eyes, tears nestled on top of his eye, ready to fall. The world is still silent—he is still alone.

Lying on the stairs, slowly bleeding out, watching the flecks of white grow larger as they come closer to him, K knows that he did the right thing. A father and a daughter are reunited. 

The forgotten son of no parents expires outside.

**Author's Note:**

> This is embarrassing. I guess it's a character study of K because he's such a tragic character that I wanted to explore. While Blade Runner 2049 was visually beautiful, I wish it would have given more about K, so I guess this is me attempting to fill the void. 
> 
> This is the first thing I've written in over five years, and it's probably pretentious, so sorry! Thanks for reading.


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